Can I get a Why-Why for repeditive Stupidity?

An email last week from a local restaurant wanted to know if they could could get a "what-what" for some upcoming special event they were having.

And I can't help but wonder;

What the in the leaky hells is a "what-what"?

Why would anyone, much less a restaurant, want one?

Is this a new word for 'positive exclamation'?

Am I getting so old that new versions of 'cool, phat, jammin', hot, radical, neat, fly', and so forth seem incurably moronic to me?

OH NOES! I just realized that I typed the equivalent of four generations' worth of positive exclamations into that single line...

Okay, so I'm officially old, now what? *chuckle*

Perspective Slant

Due to budget cuts, massive layoffs, and our struggling economy in general, millions of Americans will not be able to afford the New Year. Instead, they will have to continue using the old one.

For many in the US, a new product, just released at mass retailers nationwide for a mere fraction of the cost of a new year, may provide the answer. We were able to get a box of Perspective Slant, at our local BigBox store.

You should see what it says on the package! "Aids in the maintenance of upward mood ideation and delusions of financial stability".

So far, it's working great for my family, get yours today!

A T'd & Peeved

The phone company has yanked us around again. I didn't have mobile phone service yesterday or today (for the second time in three months), and if I didn't have a contract with them, I would cancel so fast their heads would spin off into another dimension. I'll be on the phone with them tomorrow about it, and I will get a refund for both the cost (pro-rated) of the two days of service they stole from me, as well as all the minutes I could have used (remember those free weekends I get on my plan?), credited to my account to begin to make up for the company's continued incompetence.

They could be nice, make my plan better and add on free data/internet for my phones for the remaining duration of our contracts, I would issue full forgiveness for that kind of apology, but that's unlikely.

In the nice time, since I am stuck in a contract that locks us in their clutches for another year, do you know anyone with a working iphone they don't want anymore? *laugh*

Update: The credited my account their customary "rightfully upset customer apology bonus", and turned our phones back on again.

Being Girly

Who was the idiot who came up with adding perfume to tampons, pads and panty liners?

One day, some complete moron thought it would be a good idea, and for some odd reason, that moron is now likely a millionaire.

I bet it went something like this;
Women don't want people to know they are on their period, and fear that they smell bad when that's going on, so let's add a froofy smell to the stuff they use to prevent messes.

Makes sense on that small level, except for the fact that now, for one week out of the month the women who use these things smell like they stuffed a dryer sheet in their pants.

Yeah, that'll make sure nobody has a clue what's going on!

And what imbecile rubs a toxic perfume-drenched piece of cotton against a mucus membrane for several days in a row anyway? Are these people not aware that mucus membranes are the quick-absorption channels into the bloodstream, or do they just not care?

It's no wonder the yeast infection medicine business is booming.

* Rant brought to you by a mistaken purchase by the Keebler, who says "I know cookies, not Kotex.".

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10 Years & Counting

This week heralds the 10 Year Anniversary of Blogging. The jury is out as to whether the exact date was last Monday, or this coming Sunday, but it started ten years ago, my internets, here on the web for all to see.

Now, that's not to say, like most have, that I believe the first ever instance of the word being used was a mere 10 years ago. Nay, I say. That was just the first use of the word to refer to a web log or journal online.

Accordion Guy has tracked the spelling and use back to a Superman Comic from 1959. Unfortunately, it was used as a name, not in relation to a journal or log of any sort. That was just the first time the word was used in media though.

The first time "blog" was used at all, was when Samuel Adams wrote about the Boston Tea Party in a little known journal which he titled "The Boston Log". When speaking to friends and colleagues, he referred to it as his "blog". Check the facts by scrolling half-way down this page, or join the discussion on gullible.info, a great source for true trivia and other "useless" knowledge, here. Seeing as how that was a journal, I can reliably say we've tracked the etymology of the word, all the way back to 1774.

But I digress;

It has been ten years since the word first came to mean what it does today; a web log, internet journal, or world wide web log.

Hurray, let us all celebrate 10 years of obnoxiously bad web design, flashing glittery crud and cursor trails on pages spouting some of the most angst-ridden drivel ever.

Further proof that one person, no matter how whiny and self-absorbed, can change the world.

Happy Birthday Blogosphere!

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Snyde Reveiws of Products I've Never Even Seen in Person

I saw a commercial on TV today, an unusual occurrence in its own right, and saw a new toy advertised.

There's a new dolly to outshine all other dollies. While Barbie in all her nauseatingly pink glory is scooping pretend dog doo(that doubles as doggy treats, eew!), toymakers have decided that synthetic friends are the best friends. Introducing "Amazing Allysen". She has an articulated animatronic face, voice recognition, and sensory technology. Fully interactive, this toy comes with items she can "interact" with. The company says that spending "endless hours" alone in your room playing and socializing with an enhanced furby is "lifelike, nurturing play" Whoo boy howdy, that's a doozey! The Allysen doll is described as "a child's best friend" and comes in both Caucasian and "Ethnic" (because the only ethnicity out there is African, right?) *rolls eyes* Just once I want to see "ethnic" portrayed as Hispanic, Jewish, Indian, or Native American, Ya know what I mean?

Of course, if your little angel isn't quite ready for the advanced nature of sharing ringtones and chatting with a peice of plastic that operates on AA batteries, there is another choice! That's right, it's never too early to spoil your child rotten and infect them with affleunza and social disorders of the most vicious type early on! Don't wait, you can buy your younger children the ever popular "Ethnic" or the usual Arian coloration you see everywhere in the "Amazing Amanda" dolly! She isn't much different than her older sister in her electronics. Holding conversations while she is on the potty (because we want to encourage our children to walk in on us while we're "indisposed" right?) and pretending to eat are her claims to fame.

Act now and you can destroy all hope of creativity from your child now! Only $99.99 Order now and you can have your child's problem solving skill destroyer wrapped and ready for the holidays early! Listen to your mother and do the sensible thing. Beat the holiday rush and the huge January credit card bills and buy NOW! *gag*

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