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    Thursday, September 28, 2006

    Fuming Over Idiocy

    Today I sent my 12yo, cell phone-toting daughter to her bell ringing class at a local church.

    Her rules were to call me after the class was over, and stay inside the church until I arrived to pick her up and called her phone for her to come outside, but some random stranger was "worried" about her standing alone inside the church without an adult, so took her outside, beyond the hearing range of all of the people in the church and stood with her to wait for me.

    Outside, alone, with a complete stranger, in an age where people attack and kill parents in order to steal their children from them. *shudder*

    I asked her if she thought the woman had given any thought to the fact that she was a stranger and my child should not be talking to her, or if she had contemplated her own safety outside of the safe(r) confines of the warm and well-lit church. Thinking about it, I should have confronted the woman as well, but hindsight is 20/20 as they say.

    Needless to say I had a talk with my daughter about talking with and listening to strangers and not minding MY rules.

    I'm still peeved at that self-righteous busybody usurping my parental safety measures and possibly endangering my child, but right now I'm just glad Ladybug is safe, asleep, at home, in her own bed.

    Tomorrow we'll talk some more, with both the girls, again. What could have happened keeps running through my mind, and it terrifies me. Yes. Very much with the hammering the lessons about ALL strangers into their little brains. Tomorrow, when we awaken. And every day after. I thought they had it down, but I was wrong. I'm not taking any chances. I will not allow this lesson to slip from their minds. Their safety is at stake.

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    7 comments:

    Andrea said...

    Happens to me all the time. "A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet!", says my child.

    We must remember they have a sixth sense for a person who is creepy or makes them uncomfortable. Not every stranger is a danger - in fact most are not. I encourage mine to always listen to her inner voice rather the person is a stranger or not.

    lovelife said...

    Sad that we even have to worry about sending a child to a church and not even be safe.

    TheRambleman said...

    "Outside, alone, with a complete stranger, in an age where people attack and kill parents in order to steal their children from them. *shudder*"

    I'm not sure who I'd be madder at, the nosey busybody or my child, probably both. Glad though that it worked-out in the end, and your DD is safe. I can only imagine how upset you must've been. *HUGS*

    wyminfire said...

    She is 12. She can think for herself at that age and will do so. As a mother of two teenage girls, strict control is as easy as herding cats. You will save yourself alot of grief by loosing up at bit.

    Whimspiration said...

    Wyminfire,
    You mentioned that you felt I was trying to be controlling, and I should let her think for herself.

    I'm not sure you realize that the child has a cellphone so that she can have more freedoms and do more on her own. I'm also not quite sure if you know that I let her school herself, completly without my intervention unless she specifically asks for it.

    I have very few rules, and the ones I have are very important. for instance in this situation: The rule isn't "don't talk to strangers" but is "don't talk to any adult stranger that mom & dad doesn't introduce you to first."

    Mayhaps I should have been more clear about where she was as well. In the north central area of town between (to the south) where the largest occurrence of visible gang activity is, where those muggings have been happening at all the bars, where those who have no social skills, do drugs, and habitually contribute to the delinquency of minors congregate, and (to the north), where all the homeless shelters are located.

    Considering how much freedom my children have, I don't think it was unreasonable to expect some obedience when it counted. We only have about 5 steadfast rules that must be obeyed at all times, and ALL of them are to keep the girls safe.

    I was more upset about the adult tyring to "watch over" my "poor neglected child". *rolls eyes*

    Maybe it's just me.

    Anonymous said...

    yeah, if there is an over-bearing mother, it sure the hell isn't you...Has she read any of your other blog entries??? :)

    > I was more upset about the adult tyring to "watch over" my "poor
    neglected child". *rolls eyes*

    *** THAT'S the part that would piss me off too. How DARE you tell
    my child what is the safest thing to do...especially if you're wrong
    about it!!! "Yeah, go out to the curb, that's the best place for
    you" ??? Does that make sense to anyone else???

    Andrea said...

    I forgot to mention the time that the church lost Firefly. she rode the bus to Sunday School. It pulled up in front of the house and sat there for a long time. She did not get off. Then someone (a child) came up to tell me that they did not have my child and they were making some calls to see if maybe she got on the wrong bus. Tell me why they did not know that they did not have my child on the bus until they were in front of my house? Meanwhile my child has accepted a ride home from church from a stranger. No one knew this. Not me. Not the bus. Child did not know her address or how to get to her house except that one drove past the sign with the "yucky hot dog with the snot on it". That is what she told the man and somehow he found our house. She was six at the time. You can bet we had a talk about this. She knows her address and carries a cell phone now too.