Ever So Tweetly

    follow me on Twitter

    Sunday, June 11, 2006

    Newswire: Contraband in Auditorium Spurs Evacuation, K-9 Unit in Ohio School

    The following “alert” came across parents’ emails Sunday via the district’s communication network in Mariemont City School District (suburban Cincinnati):

    Dear Parents and students,
    The high school auditorium is used by a local church for services on Sunday mornings. This morning, Feb. 26, a prop to be used by one of the minsters (sic) was left behind on the stage.
    This prop was a facsimile of the Bible that when triggered would emit a small amount of flame. The prop was not used, just left behind accidentally.

    Later today, parents and students came to the auditorium to work on the set for the upcoming musical. When the prop was discovered by a student, the authorities were called immediately which was the correct thing to do.

    The Mariemont police and fire departments responded and the facility was cleared, the prop removed and a thorough inspection of the high school by officials and canines undertaken. After discuusions (sic) with the chruch (sic) official, inspections of the facilities, and analysis of all information, I can assure you the high school is safe and school will be held as ususal (sic) tomorrow morning.

    Gerald HarrisSuperintendent

    This alert raises a number of questions:

    Did the superintendent really write this or has someone hacked into the high school communications system?

    If the superintendent did indeed author this alert, how can we verify that he passed the equivalent of today’s 9th grade proficiency exams?

    If the children had been exposed to a real Bible, not just a prop, would we have called the SWAT team?

    Will the district offer counseling to students who witnessed the Bible prop?

    Did the minister commit a felony by knowingly bringing a dangerous ordnance into a school safety zone?

    Does a Bible prop left behind in a public school qualify as an explosive device?

    Have the K-9 officers received adequate training for handling flaming Bibles?

    Has anyone sued anyone yet?

    Well, at least no one seems to be guilty of promoting the alternative theory of intelligent design here.

    "From an account of the incident, the device left behind really did look suspicious, and not just to students but to adults. This is one of those “truth is stranger than fiction” cases. Someone leaves behind a harmless device, but that LOOKS suspicious… wires, electronics, peculiar instructions, a Bible… all extremely strange. Even to the police arriving on the scene."

    If Mariemont seems to ring a bell it is because they have been profiled previously.

    1 comment:

    Anonymous said...

    * Oh brother, that's just silly. LOL. Yeah, the bible, as you know, is extremely dangerous for more than just sometimes being the
    flaming variety. Okay, I'm not awake, so that was lame. -g-