Weekly Weight Report (Riiight!)

You remember when I was all amazed and excited about shedding weight a time back, right?

Weekly reports on how much I was loosing, commentary on the losses, gains, stalled moments and all, it was a fun ride, and we shared it together for a while.

Until I discovered that my scale was terribly inaccurate.

Not that the weight lost wasn't accurate, just the numbers the scale was spitting out. The amount lost was still the same, as it was inaccurate to the same degree each time.

I have yet to be able to afford a new scale, as there is so much else that is so much more important to pay for at the moment, and I kind of feel bad for not keeping up with the weekly thing anyway, but I'd also feel bad for giving you false numbers.

I think you see where I'm going here, don't you?

So, last time I weighed myself, about a month ago, the scale at our house said I weighed only 145lbs, and had 10lbs to go to my goal weight. With much joy and exuberance, I told you;

Me:
Starting weight (August 2007): 245lbs
Last Week's Weight: 153lbs
Current Weight: 145lbs
Shed Weight: 8lbs
Total drop to date: 100lbs
Weight Goal: 135
Pounds to Loose: 10

I weighed myself on that rickety old liar of a scale again a week or so ago, and it said I had reached my goal! So the incorrect scale says I've lost that final ten pounds, and all the weight I planned to, but there's a problem.

The scale is wrong, terribly, horribly wrong!

Sure, I look like I did back in 200o, and that's great! I've effectively shed 8 years worth of consistent weight gain in a single year!

Woohoo!

But anyway, the scale reads low. If it wasn't for me knowing that I was nearly 200lbs back in 2000 that told me it was off, my friends weighing themselves on it would have convinced me for sure.

They said they adored my scale, and it was great for motivation, but not much else, and I agree.

So I have a little task ahead of me. I need to get a new (or at least new-to-me, and accurate) scale in the house, and find out how much I weigh now. I'll also have to find out what I topped off at, at my peak heaviness.

I have a searing dread that I was over 300 pounds at my peak, and I'm honestly a little afraid to find out what I weighed back then, or what I weigh now for that matter. Looks like its time for a trip to the doctor, or at least the scale aisle in my local shopping center. *sigh*

On the other hand, I was walking to the store the other day, and got wolf-whistled by three college boys in a pickup truck, so I know I'm looking lots better than I used to, even if the mirror didn't say so (and it does, loudly). *smile*

Have you ever been a little happy to be deluded, even after you found out about it?

Saga of the Dora House

Keebler, Littlebit and my mother went off to the store to grab dinner and get the little one out of the house so we could set up the Dora house that her grandmother had bought at a yard sale a few months ago (and hid from her). I distracted her with her scooter outside while everyone else put the groceries away, Then we all went into the house together.

Sitting right there on the living room floor, less than two inches from her foot, was the fully assembled and expanded Dora Talking House, taking up no less than 1.5 square feet of the center of the floor, but she didn't see it. Instead, she asked if there were any more presents to open, and when my mother told her that there as nothing left to unwrap, she picked up a toy and started playing with it.

All the while, standing right next to the thing she has been begging for for over three months. Finally, My mother got fed up with Littlebit's obliviousness, and had her sit on her lap, facing the house, her other toy, a rubber balloon frog, still in her hands.

You should have seen her face when she finally spotted it. It definitely wasn't the reaction we had braced for, that's for sure.

Her face went slack, the toy she was holding dropped from her seemingly-nerveless hands, and for a moment, she was in shock, completely unmoving. Slowly, she slid out of the provided lap and sank to her knees to touch her new treasure, and we all laughed at how long it had taken her to notice it.

The girls both spent the next two hours exploring the house together, playing Dora-dolls, and generally having a blast until it was time for bed.

From screaming and bouncing, to quiet, awed shock, this year the gift responses ran the gamut. Pretty good for not having anything to give, or money to buy it with when the month started. *smile*

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Oh My Aching Ears

Used RAZR mobile phone bought from a stranger you met on the internet: $30

Time waiting to gift it: 4 months

The "perfect" cover-designed shell, bought at the last possible minute at the mall: $15

Watching your teen leap out of her skin, screaming and using her tush to bounce a full 6" off of the floor, before she's even done unwrapping the gift, then listening to her squeak about it for over two days straight, while calling everyone she knows to brag about what a fantastic mom she has: Priceless

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Snyde Reveiws of Products I've Never Even Seen in Person

I saw a commercial on TV today, an unusual occurrence in its own right, and saw a new toy advertised.

There's a new dolly to outshine all other dollies. While Barbie in all her nauseatingly pink glory is scooping pretend dog doo(that doubles as doggy treats, eew!), toymakers have decided that synthetic friends are the best friends. Introducing "Amazing Allysen". She has an articulated animatronic face, voice recognition, and sensory technology. Fully interactive, this toy comes with items she can "interact" with. The company says that spending "endless hours" alone in your room playing and socializing with an enhanced furby is "lifelike, nurturing play" Whoo boy howdy, that's a doozey! The Allysen doll is described as "a child's best friend" and comes in both Caucasian and "Ethnic" (because the only ethnicity out there is African, right?) *rolls eyes* Just once I want to see "ethnic" portrayed as Hispanic, Jewish, Indian, or Native American, Ya know what I mean?

Of course, if your little angel isn't quite ready for the advanced nature of sharing ringtones and chatting with a peice of plastic that operates on AA batteries, there is another choice! That's right, it's never too early to spoil your child rotten and infect them with affleunza and social disorders of the most vicious type early on! Don't wait, you can buy your younger children the ever popular "Ethnic" or the usual Arian coloration you see everywhere in the "Amazing Amanda" dolly! She isn't much different than her older sister in her electronics. Holding conversations while she is on the potty (because we want to encourage our children to walk in on us while we're "indisposed" right?) and pretending to eat are her claims to fame.

Act now and you can destroy all hope of creativity from your child now! Only $99.99 Order now and you can have your child's problem solving skill destroyer wrapped and ready for the holidays early! Listen to your mother and do the sensible thing. Beat the holiday rush and the huge January credit card bills and buy NOW! *gag*

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