Once long ago, in a small sleepy town,
lived the incompitent virgo, and his wife, oh so round.
With baby she was, and 'bout due to pop,
a romance he had planned, that nobody could top.
He researched and studied, for weeks he did plan,
'till he had made the best bath in the land.
Rose petals and oil he gathered aplenty,
when the water was right 'n' candles were ready,
He turned off the lights
and he guided her in
Blind as she was, scarf tied 'bout her head,
she trusted him, sure she had nothing to dread.
Into the wall he tossed her with force,
as he made panicked noises and with relief, cursed.
Soon they did halt, having come to the tub
and he told her to enter her bath, made with love.
Stepping inside, she slipped on the bottom
saving herself only because she caught him.
On her way down, settling in,
dread she did feel, as something stuck to her end.
Grainy and coarse was the surface she sat on,
covered in oil, being greased up just felt wrong.
Determined of course, to not grimace to loudly,
knowing this gift he presented so proudly.
Unknown to her, the ordeal was not over
as he left for the milk and brought a cup closer.
Still she was blind, bewildered, confused
He said "lean forward, I have something for you".
Straight down her back, the ice cold milk ran,
fresh from the fridge, what a wonderful man!
Unable to hold herself in check any longer,
she screeched, tore off blindfold, and gazed on in wonder.
her wall impact, clearly for the sake of her hair.
Oils and salts to the bath he had added,
With how hard he'd tried, she was truly saddened.
To tell him a shower was needed most urgent,
and all of his work tossed aside for detergents.
Months later their marriage she did finally forgoe,
Alas, poor, sweet, hapless, incompitent virgo.
(Based on a true story)