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    Friday, July 12, 2013

    Depression, ADHD, & My Dog

    I have been in a severe depression for about a month now. Sure, there have been periods of happiness, joy, distraction. But I am worn thin, downtrodden, sometimes suicidal. I haven't said this to anyone because I don't want or need sympathy. There is very little, if anything that can be done about it, so I have just been trudging onward. Like Churchill said 'When you are going through hell, keep going'.

    My physical ailments have been getting worse again, and I have so little energy that my house is rapidly becoming more of a disorganized clutterbox. My Air conditioner doesn't work at all, so I have been using fans to stay cool. I can't call my landlord to fix it, because my house isn't presentable, and I have no energy or motivation to fix it myself.

    I am out of money again, and the month is only half-over. But getting the food, medical care, and everything else worked out for my new service dog is expensive. It would also help if I remembered to pay ALL of my bills EVERY month instead of forgetting them and needing to make double payments every other month or so. *sigh*

    I went to the doctor last week, and he changed my prescription again. He dropped my dosage of one of my ADHD meds because it was having an adverse effect on my concentration and mood. I just wish I could get something that worked and didn't cost an arm and a leg. The ability to be on time for things, concentrate on topics that don't interest me, and remember, well remember anything at all with any reliability, would be a true godsend.

    The only really good thing that has come out of the last week is that while I was at the doctor's, he gave me a prescription for a service dog. Now that I have the paperwork to back me up, I can keep this dog, and train her in more places, so that she will learn all of the skills necessary to be a proper service dog. Public exposure with lots of distractions around is necessary for training the focus-on-handler and ignoring distraction that all service dogs must have.

    Well, the prescription, and the fact that now that I have her on a better dog food, with a morning yogurt supplement, her gas smells like cabbage again instead of nauseatingly nasty stinking dog farts that chase you out of the room.

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